ABOUT
**? Red Astroband – Your Intergalactic Funk Overlords (and/or Mildly Unhinged Neighbors) ??**
We’re Red Astroband: a ragtag crew of space cadets, funk warlocks, and certified UFO mechanics who crash-landed on Earth in a van full of broken amps and questionable life choices. Our mission? To melt faces, warp minds, and prove that the funk *does*, in fact, originate from the Andromeda galaxy.
**Genre:** Interdimensional Groove Rock™ (think RHCP jamming with Daft Punk in a black hole’s karaoke bar).
**Formed:** When a rogue satellite collided with a 1973 Camaro blasting Parliament-Funkadelic.
**Influences:** Zero-gravity basslines, disco meteor showers, and the haunting laughter of aliens who’ve heard our demos.
**Our Sound:**
Imagine if slap bass mated with a theremin, raised by a pack of feral synthesizers, and then dropped out of music school to start a cult. We’re here to make your hips move, your dog howl in existential dread, and your Wi-Fi router spontaneously reboot.
**Live Shows:**
Equal parts dance party, science experiment, and controlled chaos. Our gigs often feature:
- A drummer who may or may not be a time-traveling cyborg.
- Guitar solos that defy the laws of physics (and good taste).
- Merch table offerings like *“Alien Love Juice”* kombucha (fermented in a UFO’s glove compartment).
**Discography:**
- *“Bootlegs from the 5th Dimension”* (2023) – So unauthorized, NASA sent us a cease-and-desist glitter bomb.
- *“Funk You, Gravity”* (2024) – A concept album about disco-dancing astronauts. *Pitchfork* called it *“a hot mess… in the best way.”* (They did not.)
**Join the Cult—Er, *Fandom*:**
Hit “follow” if you’re into:
- Bass drops that rattle Saturn’s rings.
- Lyrics about space cowboys, sentient glitter, and tacos.
- Pretending you understand our 17-minute synth odyssey *“Jupiter’s Thicc Atmos-Feels.”* (Spoiler: We don’t either.)
**Warning:** Listening to our music may cause side effects like spontaneous air-keytar, sudden urges to name your pet after a constellation, or an irrational fear of quiet.
? *Now streaming on Bandcamp… and possibly beaming directly into your dreams.* ??
- Screen name:
- Redastro153560
- Member since:
- Jul 30 2025
- Active within 1 month
- Level of commitment:
- Very Committed
- Years together:
- 5
- Gigs played:
- Over 100
- Tend to practice:
- 1 time per week
- Available to gig:
- 2-3 nights a week
- Age:
- 42 years
Influences
**? Red Astroband’s Influences (According to Our Questionable Space Diary) ?**
1. **Red Hot Chili Peppers** – For teaching us that socks *are* optional, but funk-rock basslines are mandatory.
2. **Parliament-Funkadelic** – The mothership called, and we *definitely* overstayed our welcome.
3. **Daft Punk** – We stole their robot helmets… and their ability to make synths sound like alien hymns.
4. **David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust** – Because nothing says “rockstar” like pretending you’re from Mars (shhh).
5. **Earth, Wind & Fire** – We’re 0% earth, 50% wind, and 100% *“why is there fire in this spaceship?!”*
6. **Janelle Monáe** – Our Afrofuturism fairy godmother. *Dirty Computer* is our spacecraft’s manual.
7. **Primus** – Les Claypod’s bass is why our guitarist now owns a therapy llama.
8. **The B-52’s** – They proved you can yell about rock lobsters *and* interstellar tourism. We took notes.
9. **Herbie Hancock’s *Future Shock*** – The album that taught us keyboards could sound like a UFO’s dial-up tone.
10. **Gorillaz** – Their virtual chaos inspired us to claim we’re holograms. (*Spoiler:* We’re just sleep-deprived.)
**Honorable Mentions:**
- The sound a washing machine makes during a poltergeist haunting.
- That one time we heard a sentient jukebox at a truck stop on Neptune.
- **The *Cowboy Bebop* soundtrack** – Because space jazz is a lifestyle, not a genre.
**Disclaimer:** 78% of these influences were beamed into our brains during a faulty hyperdrive jump. The rest? Pure ?*cosmic guesswork*?.
Members Of Band
**? Red Astroband: Meet the Crew ?**
**Charlie Semaan** *(Vocals)*
The human megaphone with a voice that swings from soulful croons to primal yells—like if Anthony Kiedis and a hurricane had a lovechild. Charlie’s stage presence is 50% charisma, 50% caffeine, and 100% "did he just climb that speaker stack?" Writes lyrics on pizza boxes and claims karaoke bars are his “creative temples.”
**Fun Fact:** Once lost his voice mid-show but crowd-surfed anyway. The audience sang his parts. Legend status: *unlocked*.
---
**Kris Miller** *(Drums)*
The groove architect with biceps of steel and a snare sound that could wake the dead. Kris doesn’t play drums—he *negotiates* with them. A metronome’s worst nightmare, he’s the reason the band’s rhythm section feels like a freight train doing ballet.
**Quote:** *“If the beat drops and no one’s sweating, did it even happen?”*
---
**Derek Azevedo** *(Drums)*
The other half of Red Astroband’s percussive thunderstorm. Derek’s philosophy: “Why have one drummer when you can have two?” A master of fills so tight they could defuse a bomb, he turns rhythm into a contact sport. Together, he and Kris create a seismic pulse that’s part funk, part primal ritual.
**Fun Fact:** Owns a tambourine named “Karen” that he insists is “just for emotional support.”
---
**Lucas Russo** *(Guitar)*
The riff-slinging mad scientist who treats his guitar like a lightning rod. Lucas’s playing is equal parts Hendrix worship and ADHD chaos—think funk-punk licks spliced with solos that sound like a robot crying in a Walmart parking lot. His pedalboard is a sentient being with daddy issues.
**Quote:** *“Turn it up until the neighbors call the cops… then turn it up again.”*
---
**Band Vibe:**
A sonic tornado forged from funk, rock, and questionable life choices. Two drummers? *Because one kit is for cowards.* Red Astroband doesn’t make music—they start cults where the sacrament is bass drops and the offering plate is a mosh pit.
**Mission:** To melt faces, rattle spines, and prove that volume *is* a personality trait. ??
*(Now streaming on Bandcamp, and probably your landlord’s nightmare.)*
EQUIPMENT
The best damn gear you ever saw. Full Back available. PA required unless for small rooms.
